While others may call it an obsession or a craze, I call it a one-sided relationship. A one-sided relationship is something that everyone has experienced. For me, my first one-sided relationship was the actress, Jessica Alba. She was something else. Forget her terrible acting. I mean, when she came on the screen, it was pure bliss. Your one-sided relationship could have been with that immensely popular girl in your high school class that showed too much skin, or a celebrity.  Today, I will be talking to you about the benefits of one-sided relationships.

1. The person never does anything wrong.
Have you ever noticed that when you're first in love with someone, they seem perfect like a blanket of snow on a winter night (As told my Holden in Catcher in the Rye). They defy the laws of physics the way they stop time. You treasure every moment you see them. Yet, once you start to know them, you realize their flaws. The way they farts at night, or the fact that they doesn't want kids. HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO PASS ON THESE RIDICULOUSLY GOOD GENES OF MINE? THE MORMONS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER!

2. Your bank account rejoices.
As a guy, I seriously go broke every time I fall in love. I want to buy her a necklace, or an ear ring. No, don't! But, I want to because I like the way she smiles. Or it's our one month anniversary, I should take her somewhere. I didn't know why accountants worked such terrible jobs before I had a girlfriend.

3. You never have to be scared of meeting their family members.
Terrible experience. Imagine being at a dinner table with your lover's parents. Your SO leaves the table, and immediately, the real conversation begins. "So, have you guys had sex yet?" Lie and be forever shunned or tell the truth and be forever shunned. "Uh, no of course not." "That's not what she said." FML.

4. They'll never judge you.
Have you ever looked in a mirror. Have you ever thought of how you would feel if you met a replica of yourself. Damn, I wish I were smarter. Damn, I wish I were richer. Everyone has their flaws, and you know all of them. Yet, when you see someone from afar, they never notice your flaws. When they smile, you can imagine that they're smiling at you because they have accepted all your flaws.

5. You can fall in love with them for as long as you want. Then throw them away.
They won't cling on to you. They won't ask your to return. They won't lead you into a cycle of falling in love and being heart broken, over and over again. They will never ditch you. They won't ever break your heart until you're ready to leave them.

6. They can't ever hurt you.
When you go into the relationship, you know that nothing will happen. You let your imagination go wild and you are happy. You are happy and okay with the idea that you will never be with them. However, you deceive yourself and allow yourself to experience the "what ifs." When you are done, you can leave them. They won't call you back. They won't break your heart because you've been working up to this moment since you began the relationship.

Why, this is the worst idea ever. Why would anyone cherish the idea of a one-sided relationship? The truth of the matter is, not everyone is going to find love. Not everyone is going to get married and have the world's most romantic first kiss. People wait years and years waiting to find love, only to realize that no one is coming for them. The right person will come, they say. They're just lost, they say. And, when you're that old person on a porch with a bunch of cats, I'm sorry, they'll say.

1) I read that if you go up to a complete stranger and tell them, "Hey! How are you! It's been so long," they will all pretend they know who you are.

2) Take advantage of my parents lack of computer skills. Take a picture of their favorite website and set it as the desktop background.

3) Run through a full lecture hall dressed as crayons yelling, "We're free!" with a box crayon box chasing after us.

List will grow with time.